I saved you a seat
at the park we used to sit.
Here lie all the remains of what we had,
the dried fallen leaves, the autumn breeze,
the footprints on the snow,
the cherry blossom petals, the floral scent,
the warmth of your hands.
Here we used to be
Spending the quiet nights,
sharing the silence,
breathing air of the past
but living in the present.
I knew you wouldn’t come.
I guess it’s time…
You’re a maze with no end.
I’m lost. Clueless.
And without realizing,
I’m losing hours of my sleep; analyzing.
Yet still can’t crack you.
You’re one hell of a mystery.
I want to go inside your mind.
I want to figure it out.
I want to figure you out.
It was a chilly afternoon when I strolled down the street.
My leg hurt and my back was sore but I insisted to keep walking with no direction.
Just looking at the buildings, the people, the faces that looked back at my face curiously.
Because even after years I’ve been here, I know I’m still a stranger to this country.
And this city still feels foreign to me.
So many things changed after I’ve moved in.
I hate change…
or maybe I just wasn’t ready.
I really thought that I hate this city…
Turns out I am the one I really hate.
Only those who learn can understand.
Only those who understand can accept.
Only those who accept can forgive.
Only those who forgive can be at peace.
how do I forget you
when everything reminds of you
every step I take
leads me back to you
The thread that ties her wrists
like shafts of bright
lunar eclipse light that pierced
sharply through her pointless entity
around her wrist
Lacing the tragedy with serendipity
Entwining the serenity with desolation
Engulfing the misery with destruction
when will she be free?
To listen to chirping birds in the morning
To let the sunshine warm your cheeks
To run your fingers in meadow
To enjoy the breeze that washes over your face
To look up to the sky and gaze at the stars
To never take every single thing for granted
To take a deep breath
To take one step at a time
To never give up on yourself
To never lose yourself
Wide awake at 3 AM.
Went to bed crying and woke up cursing.
Never miss a day without questioning my existence.
Why am I living? Why can’t I disappear?
Is this what they call existential crisis?
No, you don’t have to tell me…
I know this is depression.
They say I need a therapy.
Worse, they say I need to be a believer…
They always tell me to do things
Yet never tell me how.
Worse, they just leave me alone to figure it out…
Every time I look at the mirror
I only feel disdain.
If you were me,
Would you hate myself too?